Ivan Pentchoukov

From the outer space meditation manual

Written for the space vacuum test. The participant is left in space with enough oxygen and food for one year. There are no visible planets close by. The participant has no watch or other instrument to orient him or herself in time and space. There is no distress button, but a ship will return to recover the participant if the vitals are contingent. The top prospects score on a bell curve. The record is 96 hours. An underground network of past participants developed a booklet with helpful information on how to score well on the test. The booklet’s effectiveness was monitored by the testing agency. The following words double an average expected stay time (and are, in fact, what the record holder hummed for 96 hours.)

Happiness is a word.
Love is a word.
Word is a word.